All I need are ripped fishnet stockings and lucite high heels and I’d have the legs of a five dollar hooker.

Production at Daily Burn 365 last Friday was held up while make up was applied to my lower legs. Gay guys with banged up knees don’t play well in Peoria.

Last week I noticed bruising all over my body. Not being at all dramatic, I knew I must have leukemia. After I searched the Internet for the best oncologists, somebody suggested it could be anemia.

Lately I’ve been very busy and not eating in a way that honors my body or my ancestors. Normally I get plenty of leafy greens and I do love redmeat when it drops in front of me. After days that include exercising then working until 9 PM, all I want is a bowl of elbow macaroni with butter, parmesan and pepper while watching Real Housewives of New York beat the shit out of each other. Whole wheat macaroni and still within my calorie budget so stop your judging. 

This weekend I began the anemia cure. There was a roast beef wrap, a meatball parmigiana hero and on Sunday I was especially good to myself, with a steak for lunch and a steak for dinner. Both rare and I slurped up the blood from the plate. 

Already I feel more energetic and I don’t have any new bruises. It’s important not to look like a beat down crack whore when you’re a participant on a wellness program.