Bizarro camping

Imagine a place where fatter is sexier. Where beer bellies are admired, even worshipped. Where older is hotter.
You need not imagine, just go to The Woods campground in Lehighton, Pennsylvania. Especially on Bear Weekends.
I’ve gone to The Woods with my friends Justyn and Ed (hey girls!) the previous three years. This was my first time alone and on a big hairy guy weekend.
God bless these burly men. They don’t wake up and think, “I’m so fat, I’m going to retreat from society,” especially the body fascist gay community.
Nor do they think, “I’m so fat, I’m going to change things around and get fit before my health suffers anymore.”
Bears wake up everyday knowing, “I’m so fat, I’m a sex god. Rub my belly, boy!”
My ego got a smack down when a young gentleman I was wooing told me that I’m great and I’d be perfect if… I was heavier and a little older. I told him to watch this space because I’m sure to be both of those things next summer.
One skinny hairy guy (an otter) approached me at the pool to ask if he could rub my belly. Um, sure. As he gave it a few rubs he purred, “Mmm, fuzzy belly,” then simply walked away.
Here’s the lesson: Don’t try to conform to what the media says is sexy. Just buy clothes that fit/get a good tailor and search the Internet for whatever niche you fall into and embrace it. There’s somebody for everyone.


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