I can’t go to a bar the past few nights without a pretty woman hitting on me hard. I usually open my mouth and talk to them so they can figure out they’re barking up the wrong tree. These lovely ladies don’t care.
At first I thought it must be my exotic Long Island accent or the way I can wear the hell out of hiking shoes with knee high socks and cargo shorts.
I came back to earth when I realized that all the men in these twee seaside northwestern towns are either gay or out to sea. You think straight people are fixing up all those old Victorian homes? The women here can wait no longer.
This reminds me of the great college humor video about gay men threatening to marry straight men’s girlfriends if they don’t support marriage equality.
I think it was determined a long time ago by the Zagats New York Area Guide to Single Jewish Men that you were “dreamy,” “one to bring home to Bubbe,” and “such a waste.”
I’m a waste in many American cities.