Conversation I walked in on a few minutes ago when I went to pick up my yellow protein disks and ersatz coffee.
Female Holiday Inn employee: You got to be careful who you say that stuff to nowadays because you never know.
Middle-age male guest with small rose colored glasses, pedophile mustache and wearing shorts and knee-high white socks with his Keds: I know, you say anything and you’re a homophobe. I told you when my dear sister was living she had gay friends and I was nice to them.
Female: My daughter has some gay friends and one of them made a pass at her. Let’s just say they’re not close anymore.
Male: Ya see!
Female: That was a little while ago. Now she’s dating a guy so she just had problems and didn’t know what she wants.
Male: That’s why before you go around thinking you’re gay or involving other people, figure out what you want because you’re probably not even gay.
All the while I’m standing there and they just keep talking. They must not have suspected I am gay. Which means I better exfoliate, hit the gym hard and start dressing a little better.
Steintrek 
What on earth is that on the plate? I am worried about your diet on this trip. You’re going to come back with pellagra or something.
On my plate? Why, that’s… Mind your business!
No comment on the overheard exchange…clearly you’ve reached whatever part of the country where people marry their immediate relatives
Another Holiday Inn employee came in to let everyone know he’s getting married this Saturday and as soon as he figures out where, he’ll let everyone know. The sanctity of marriage is still alive here.
I am still stuck on the brown and yellow objects on your STYROFOAM plate!!!!
Technically, it’s probably called soylent yellow and soylent brown. It’s the future.
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Did you actually eat that or just take a picture? In regards to the conversation, are you near my home town?
I’m not going to lie, I ate it. Something with the software made the color go off and make it look worse than it was. Still in West Virginia. Can I look forward to some of that straight talk in Missouri too?
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