Despite all the cord being worn away and being left only with the uroy on the inseams of my jeans, I still think on the same size I was when I was a gamine 44 year old.

That’s why it’s good for delusional people to have friends who will tell them the truth. Yesterday, my fit and thin actor friend sent me a casting call with the note, “Hey, this films near you. No pay but free workouts!”

  
Yes, they’re looking for people bordering on old and definitely fat. My friend was being generous because I zoomed past the 25 pounds overweight mark 200 beers and 10 pounds ago.

I’m not mad. I’m grateful to him and I’m submitting to join this workout program. I’m from New York, New Jersey, or Puerto Rico!

Two years ago, sitting on a rock, looking at a sand stone formation in Zion National Park, I came to terms with my size and looks. I was going to buy a lot of turquoise jewelry, flowing clothes made from natural fibers and let my hair go gray and long. And, I was going to eat whatever made me happy and do not let vanity guide my decisions. The problem with that plan is, being fit is not vain. 

My mother is in a nursing home now with severe dementia, mobility problems, and just tons and tons of problems, all related to uncontrolled diabetes. The diabetes is definitely the result of a poor diet and a sedentary lifestyle. 

Let’s be real for a minute, I don’t have a boyfriend now, I’ve barely ever had a boyfriend in the past and I don’t plan on having one in the future. I can’t count on my nephews taking care of me because what they’ve witnessed of elder care is their mother and uncle putting their grandmother in the nursing home. I’ve got to take care of myself.

I’m getting back to being fit for my physical and mental well-being. As I told the casting director for the show in an email, “I don’t believe you can spot loose weight on specific body areas so I simply want to loose fat, build muscle and increase flexibility. That said, I would not mind a bigger rounder ass.”