I took my mother to Jewish services on Friday at her old folks/rehabilitation center. During the most solemn moment, the Kaddish, the prayer for the dead, the flip phone of the old bitty parked next to me went off. She apologized immediately. #SorryNotSorry because she answered the phone. “What? Who am I talking to? I’m in temple. Who is this? Do I have to take a survey?”

She’s going to hell but I was glad for the distraction. Maybe my mother will have forgotten I did not know one single prayer/song/the right time to stand up despite her spending thousands of dollars on Hebrew school.