Shit guys say to me:

“You got that Louis C.K. look going on.”

“Wow, you are so my type. You’re that really average guy with brown eyes and a little gut.”

“What color was your hair when you had it?”

“I’d say that you had a nose job but I doubt you would go through all that and still leave that bump.”

“You’re gay, right? I don’t mean it in a bad way, I have a lot of gay friends. You should know that no one would think you’re not gay.” (This was a stranger at a tea shop, I simply returned his hello)

“Oh no, you’re not going to want to bicker like they do on Seinfeld.” (Upon learning I am Jewish)

“You’re hot! I love older fatter guys. That’s weird, right?”

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