Sure it’s 106° but it’s a dry heat. I swear it only feels like 102°.
I’m at the Ace Hotel and Swim Club in Palm Springs, a hotel for hipsters. It’s an ironic oasis wrapped in a retro mirage.
My stay started out better than expected. My beautiful friend Brady had a huge pink cupcake and a bucket of cold Bikini Blonde Lager waiting for me.

I’ve discovered the high wasted bikini is here for the summer. Blame Taylor Swift. I’m blaming her for my moobs.