If a bear eats me, just know my last moments were beautiful

No cell reception anywhere in or near the park. I just climbed 2300 feet to get four bars.
The name of the game here is not to be eaten by a bear or mountain lion. Everyone spends most of their time cleaning up their food and securing garbage.
I’ve done a lot of reading on what to do if a bear attacks. The park advises the best idea is not to be attacked. To do that, be loud. I’ve taken to singing the Torah portion from my bar mitzvah when on the trails. No animals have bothered me and even some plant life have upped roots and ran away.
For a grizzly bear (long snout compared to a black bear), be calm or play dead if it does attack. For a black bear, fight back. I don’t like either of these options. If I am attacked, it will come down to an old fashioned dance off. I’m no fool, I know that bears are good at ballet (see Misha the dancing bear) so I will call for a hip-hop or disco contest.
I’ve been camping the last three days in the Two Medicine area of Glacier National Park. Best place I’ve been on the trip by far. The first day I spent in the St. Mary area. I do not recommend, too crowded and the hiking is nothing compared to Two Medicine.

3 thoughts on “If a bear eats me, just know my last moments were beautiful

    • They have bathrooms. Showers no but you can take one at the nice motel in town for 5 bucks. St. Mary’s has showers but sucky camping. Embrace being dirty.

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