This was not in the brochure


In the movie that Judd Apatow will make (his first serious film because he feels the material is worth it) about my time with Gloria, he shows how an uptight New York Jew learns to enjoy life from a free spirited dying woman. My character in turn teaches her how to make the best chopped liver.
What was not in my script: The one other housemate who I was told is never here. Met him yesterday while he was here all day. Nice guy, actor. Working a few jobs and putting himself through college. Either he has Tourette’s or he’s trying to drive me out of here. Just as I was falling sleep, I shot up out of bed when a heard a scream that was like an elephant trumpeting followed by “buggedy buggedy wooolooooh!” This went on for a few hours.
Also not on my script, Gloria smoking me out of here. I used to smoke. I have friends who smoke. But I’ve never been in a house with a chain smoker who likes to close the windows.
Joe Mangainello better start hitting the gym and take advanced acting classes if he’s going to portray me in movie version and convey the range of emotions I am going through (uncomfortable, tired, scared…)

3 thoughts on “This was not in the brochure

    • This must be the build up. Soon we’ll do a 1980s montage of me giving smoking cessation classes, showing housemate how to cover his walls with egg cartons and how to score benzos, and all of us painting the house wacky colors and accidentally painting each other, which turns into a fun paint fight.

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