When we last left off, Trump had just “ “ “won“ “ “ the election. Since then, aaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!
I’m gonna catch everyone up on everything now that I’ve had time to process and my social life has been freed up.
Our main characters are still alive, Mom, Harry and myself. Mom is safely ensconced in a nursing home on Long Island, in her own private room finally after four years of numerous roommates dying off quickly and mysteriously.
The home has taken great care of her and the other residents during the pandemic but I’ve only been allowed a couple of outdoor visits. Our main communication is FaceTime. A sweet young and put upon nurse’s aide facilitates the call and must listen to my mom constantly say how I’m soooo handsome. Because of her severe short term dementia, that’s pretty much the entire 10 minute call, my mom repeating over and over again how handsome I am. I’ve been requesting two calls a day.
As for Harry, that needy little pain in the ass is still around, never more than two feet away. I couldn’t shake him if I wanted to. It’s true, they can find their way back home, no matter how far away you dump them.
As for me, I’m going to dole out the episodes of the past four years, nice and slow like. I imagine writing is something a therapist would tell me to do and I should be in therapy. Here are some teasers.
I moved to the suburbs of New Jersey last September, to be closer to my job of the past three years. Did you know you can leave your house and go shopping in pajamas and slippers and no one bats an eyelash?
I was a TaskRabbit in NYC to supplement my unsteady freelance income. Did you know that millennials sharing teeny tiny apartments in Flatbush will pay up to $100 an hour for you to unbox and plug in a portable air conditioner or to hammer in picture hooks? My motto was, when you need something fixed, call the gay Jewish guy from Long Island who is not handy at all but he’ll YouTube-learn in the subway then gladly take your money. My charm really compensated for my incompetence.
One of my contract communications gigs was working for an LGBTQ+ Jewish synagogue in the West Village. I quit when the well known, star fucker Rabbi ripped me a new one for using the term gay marriage instead of marriage equality. “I SPENT THE PAST 10 YEARS TALKING ABOUY MARRIAGE EQUALITY BARUCH ATAH ADUNOY SOMETHING SOMETHING.” She’s one of the most unpleasant people I have ever met but in fairness to her, I never should’ve taken that job being against organized religion and all. She had my number.
I’m looking forward to catching up! 😘