Read all the following lines like you are a 75 year old New York Jewish woman out to lunch with the “girls.” To set the scene, you are in full makeup, bewigged and dripping with jewels.
“You try the mushroom soup, you’re the soup connoisseur.”
“This is a lot of chicken here. Sometimes they don’t give you hardly any chicken.”
“The egg salad is good. You know what else is good, the big babka at Cosco.”
“What do you think, everyone is out to rob you? There’s 4000 other homes they can hit.”
(Say while shrugging) “There’s some sort of spice in this. Not sure what it is but I could live without it.”
“It’s a vegetable soup but I throw soup rolls in it. My family loves it so I’ll keep doing it. Who knows?”
“Oy, just terrible.”
“After a certain age, some people are just old. You say, thank God it’s not me.”
Pretend I sound like a 45 year-old JAP from Long Island who listened to that same 74 year-old Jewish mother yesterday…
So mom, how was dinner?
Well, it was fine. Ya know, me and 10 other girls went to that great Chinese place near you. I invited you to join us again, but you never came. Why don’t you ever want to come with us???
Mom, I mentioned yesterday that I couldn’t make this one.
Oh yea, that’s right, I remember now.
I’ve gone with the girls, other friends of hers and it’s the same conversation, just as you described in your post-just different food being mentioned!
Funny. People get older and forget, that’s what happens. Speaking of which, you owe mom some birthday cards. She’s 76.