I’m getting the hell out of Dodge

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Really, I’m getting the hell out of Dodge City, Kansas. I’m not saying Kansas has been boring but I’m not saying a tornado would have been unwelcome.
After exploring the city yesterday (a bold and unexpected use of the word city), I was feeling a little road weary and lonely. It was Saturday night and I decided to do something that I would do at home in New York.
I ordered a thin crust pizza with sausage, red onion, and mushrooms, opened a bottle of my finest New Mexican Pinot Noir, and hunkered down for a night of House of Versace on Lifetime (Gina Gershon should get an Emmy, a Tony, an Oscar and a Grammy for her subtle performance) and Miley Cyrus on Saturday Night Live. Seriously, she killed it so you h8rz can stop.
Enough of this flat, dusty, windswept State. Oklahoma here I come!

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